Daniel was a brilliant debater. When he and Jess argued, he would systematically dismantle her logic point by point. He could remember exactly what she said three weeks ago, and he would use it to prove that her current frustration was factually incorrect.
He always won.
Their breakthrough came when Daniel realized he was acting like a lawyer prosecuting a hostile witness, rather than a husband standing next to his wife. He had to face a brutal question from therapist Terry Real: "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?"
A marriage is not a courtroom where a judge awards points for logical consistency. It is a foxhole. You are two soldiers, pinned down by the fire of life—mortgages, parenting, exhaustion, miscommunications.
If you turn your weapon on the only other person in the foxhole with you, you might win the skirmish. But you will have fatally compromised your own survival.