You have never had just one marriage. You have the one you and your spouse are actually building, and the one your two families of origin are quietly still running in the background — a set of rules about conflict, money, and affection that neither of you wrote, and neither of you were ever asked to sign.
Archaeology doesn't judge what it finds. It just carefully uncovers what's actually there, layer by layer, so you can finally see it clearly instead of just living inside it.
You don't have to reject where you came from to change what you carry forward. The goal here isn't to put your parents on trial. It's to finally see the blueprint clearly enough to keep what still serves your marriage — and consciously rewrite what doesn't.
It is tempting to stop at "now I know whose fault this is." That's not the point of an archaeology dig. The point is that a rule you can finally see is a rule you can finally choose about — instead of one that just keeps choosing for you.