DUO

Fundamentals

Months 0-24: The Chemistry

Your Brain on Love

Falling in love feels like losing your mind because, neurologically, you do. Tap the hotspots to see why early chemistry isn't a permanent foundation.

Hover or tap a numbered node above...

What Your Brain Does With Incomplete Data

👁️

You Observed

Silence
Intensity
Consistency

Brain
Translated

💖

You Concluded

Depth
Passion
Strength

"You constructed a story from incomplete data, and your neurochemistry made that story feel certain."

The Sweet Spot

AccuracyMild IllusionLarge Illusion

✓

Mild Positive Illusion

The Sweet Spot: Couples who maintain mildly idealized views stay happier longer than those with perfect accuracy.

The Invisible Architecture

The Dance of Attachment

When the honeymoon chemistry fades, childhood blueprints take over. Tap a side to see the hidden fears driving the conflict.

Anxious Attachment

The Pursuer

→ Reaches out

→ Demands answers

→ Criticizes

Avoidant Attachment

The Distancer

← Shuts down

← Walks away

← Goes silent

When Things Fall Apart

Dr. John Gottman calls these the "Four Horsemen." Tap any card to reveal its specific antidote.

The Toxin

Criticism

"You always..." or "You never..." Attacks character instead of behavior.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Respect

The Soft Startup. "I feel X about Y, and I need Z."

The Toxin

Contempt

Eye-rolling, mocking, superiority. The most lethal predictor of divorce.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Curiosity

Assume positive intent. Ask: "Help me understand why this matters to you."

The Toxin

Defensiveness

"I only did that because you..." Refusing to take any responsibility.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Presence

Find the 1% of truth in their complaint and own it without adding a "but".

The Toxin

Stonewalling

Silence, leaving the room, scrolling the phone to escape the flood.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Grace

The 20-Minute Pause. "I am flooded. I need a break, but I promise I'll return."

The "What Now?" Protocols

Don't guess where your foundation is cracked.

Take the Marriage Compass

Once you understand your foundation, you must protect your attention.

Next Module: The Connection →

DUO

Fundamentals

Take Assessment

Months 0-24: The Chemistry

Your Brain on Love

Falling in love feels like losing your mind because, neurologically, you do. Tap the hotspots to see why early chemistry isn't a permanent foundation.

Hover or tap a numbered node above...

What Your Brain Does With Incomplete Data

👁️

You Observed

Silence
Intensity
Consistency

Brain
Translated

💖

You Concluded

Depth
Passion
Strength

"You constructed a story from incomplete data, and your neurochemistry made that story feel certain."

The Sweet Spot

AccuracyMild IllusionLarge Illusion

✓

Mild Positive Illusion

The Sweet Spot: Couples who maintain mildly idealized views stay happier longer than those with perfect accuracy.

The Invisible Architecture

The Dance of Attachment

When the honeymoon chemistry fades, childhood blueprints take over. Tap a side to see the hidden fears driving the conflict.

Anxious Attachment

The Pursuer

→ Reaches out

→ Demands answers

→ Criticizes

Avoidant Attachment

The Distancer

← Shuts down

← Walks away

← Goes silent

When Things Fall Apart

Dr. John Gottman calls these the "Four Horsemen." Tap any card to reveal its specific antidote.

The Toxin

Criticism

"You always..." or "You never..." Attacks character instead of behavior.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Respect

The Soft Startup. "I feel X about Y, and I need Z."

The Toxin

Contempt

Eye-rolling, mocking, superiority. The most lethal predictor of divorce.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Curiosity

Assume positive intent. Ask: "Help me understand why this matters to you."

The Toxin

Defensiveness

"I only did that because you..." Refusing to take any responsibility.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Presence

Find the 1% of truth in their complaint and own it without adding a "but".

The Toxin

Stonewalling

Silence, leaving the room, scrolling the phone to escape the flood.

Tap to flip ↺

The Antidote

Grace

The 20-Minute Pause. "I am flooded. I need a break, but I promise I'll return."

The "What Now?" Protocols

Don't guess where your foundation is cracked.

Take the Marriage Compass

Once you understand your foundation, you must protect your attention.

Next Module: The Connection →